Sepp Blatter Apparently Had a Relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo’s Ex Irina Shayk

No way.

Paul Tamburroby Paul Tamburro

Well this is a news story that has arisen from the FIFA scandal that we weren’t expecting.

According to Spanish newspaper El Mundo, a reputable source in the country, former FIFA president Sepp Blatter had relations with Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex-girlfriend Irina Shayk. According to the ‘paper the 79-year-old was involved in a relationship with the model prior to her dating Cristiano Ronaldo, who she has now broken up with. She is now dating actor Bradley Cooper.

Also See: Sepp Blatter is Being Investigated by the FBI After All

Of course, this story has no particular relevance to the FIFA scandal, but it’s noteworthy simply because of how bizarre it is. How did this meeting take place? How does something like this happen? How does a man like Blatter, who has few redeeming qualities and who also looks like a withered ballsack, wind up with a Russian model?

For the sake of our own sanity, we hope that this story is entirely untrue. I mean, it can’t be, can it? But maybe… no. We refuse to believe it.

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This isn’t the first time Shayk has been in the headlines this week, after the 29-year-old appeared in a recent interview with Spain’s Hola! magazine following the end of her relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo that was branded an “attack” on the Real Madrid star. But what controversial statement did Shayk make? Well, in the interview she was asked to describe her ideal man, to which she replied:  “He’s got to be kind, amusing and honest and he’s got to know how to treat a woman. And he’s also got to be faithful.” This was then interpreted as “Cristiano Ronaldo Cheated on Irina Shayk!” because tabloid rags will be tabloid rags.

So who really knows whether or not Sepp Blatter had a relationship with her, or whether Cristiano Ronaldo cheated on her, or whether reality is an illusion and we all exist within a simulation of what we believe to be a physical, material world? All we know is that Irina Shayk is a very attractive model, Sepp Blatter looks like a dehydrated turtle, and none of this really matters.

Photos: Getty Images