ARCHER 2.03 ‘Blood Test’

Archer finds out that he may be a father... But not if he can help it!

Blair Marnellby Blair Marnell

ARCHER 2.03 'Blood Test'

Episode Title: "Blood Test"

Writer: Adam Reed

The show kicked off this week with Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) showing us one of the more obvious examples of what a huge ass he can be when he slaps a man in a wheelchair for suggesting that he should get the closest space to the office. And then Archer gets the shock of his life when his mother, Mallory Archer (Jessica Walter) and Archer’s former favorite hooker, Trinette introduce him to an infant named Seamus… Archer’s son.

Naturally, Archer questions the validity of Trinette’s claims, so she hires ODIN and Archer’s rival Barry to administer a paternity test that leaves Archer drained of a fifth of his blood. Despite his weakened state, Mallory urges Archer to break into the bank vault with the blood sample and switch it out to get off the hook. During a wild baby shower at Archer’s apartment, they eventually steal the blood from Cyril Figgis (Chris Parnell). Archer completes the mission, in spite of his mother’s eleventh hour reversal. However, it turns out that Cyril may actually be the father of the child. Not that Archer can contest the results.

This episode was a step down from the previous two episodes in terms of humor. There were definitely a lot of funny parts to it, but it wasn’t quite as strong. However, it did actually flesh out Mallory and Lana Kane (Aisha Tyler) with a little more depth than either of them have shown previously. Seeing Archer with a child awakens maternal yearnings in Lana, as she ask Ray to impregnate her despite his homosexuality. And Mallory actually discovers her heart (which I assume is the size of Archer’s baby shoes) before she urges him to let the results fall where they will. Her quick reversal and refusal to help him with his child support was pretty amusing.

Woodward (George Coe) finally made his return this week as Archer’s long suffering butler… who is apparently also a heroin addict. He’s the one regular character that the show doesn’t use enough. The rest of the supporting cast got a few moments to shine, like Carol’s unexpected pleasure after goading Lana into attacking her and Pam’s attempt to molest Cyril. Barry also made his second appearance this season and finally got one over on Archer. Although Barry wasn’t quite as crazy as he was in last week’s episode, it’s good that Archer finally has a worthwhile rival.

On another show, I’d probably complain that Archer’s supposed son probably won’t ever be mentioned again. But I give "Archer" a lot of leeway because it’s usually comedy gold. Even a lesser episode like this is still better than most of the sitcoms on TV.

Here are this week’s top five "Archer" moments.


Pam: "Ray, you can do it! And I can watch… the door. Like a look out."


Archer: "Someone else’s blood. Yeah, great. I’ll just have Igor bring a villager up to my castle. Uh… Igor?

Woodward: "Yesss…?"

Ray: "Paging Doctor Loggins…"


Archer to a man in a wheelchair: "What do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well, I’m a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life, so yeah, I deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it would kill you to roll fifty feet. Stupid thing’s electric!"


Mallory: "It’s a baby shower! For the bastard child you humped into a filthy whore."

Archer: "So, I’m obviously not saying now. But one of these days, you’re gonna make the best grandma."


Crave Online Rating: 8 out of 10.